Looking for true freedom and honest bravery…
In my fury, speechlessness, and need for enlightenment around so many profoundly not-OK movements happening around me, I am finding my need for total non-action at an all time high—many of you are having the same experience but you are judging yourselves harshly for it—the unfathomability of the times we are in is short circuiting our brains, forcing us to get quiet, regroup, rest…with so much love and respect I say to you each and all, STOP calling this procrastination, avoidance, and wasting time (cruel voice of the patriarchy, pushing pushing pushing)…we need time to digest “this”(name your own this)…and, if you can allow the being time, (oh, and not entertain yourselves through it) well, all the better. If you can, and of course you can, but sometimes you just can’t, right? – JUST stare at the trees, sky, and listen to the birds…you will be better nourished. We are hungry for centering-grounding- sanity and it simply will not arrive through a device.
Meanwhile life goes on—whoa, even the word life feels like it has a little kink in its definition right this second…but yes, meanwhile Life goes on and we continue to long for something like “normal”—yeah, like celebrating the 4th of July…ahem, roar: Did my daughter really make a fucking Lady Liberty paper doll on a stick at camp this week? Yep. Nope. Hello.
Almost every day I find myself a hair’s breadth away from running up and down the streets shouting and tearing out my hair, wailing, and acting out the insanity of this moment in history—you must also feel this upwelling in yourselves…instead we are fading into despair and ghostliness…extinct before we are extinct…Well, I’m resting up a bit and integrating because I have a whole new set of skills to learn, we have a whole new set of conversations to have with our daughters, and our sons, there is much to do but we must all move from stillness and clarity which comes from saying ok to the void…yes, we are in a-void-ance right now…stay with it, it is a compass point. Use your courage to move from avoidance to a-void-dance…find your voice and movements, take the time you need but try not to get stuck…
My prayer is that all of this madness is leading us back to ourselves—and each other—taking “matters” into our own hands seems like the way forward as system upon system upon system corrupts. Becoming, truly becoming, the free and the brave—yes, it is time and yes, I am celebrating THIS on the 4th…